Have you ever doubted someone, or just plain been in doubt about something? You know, there was this time I was in the fifth grade and my friend, just outta the blue called me up and said, “I don’t wanna be friends with you anymore” and hung up. I didn’t hear much else from him for a while. We’re friends now, but back then it was a big deal. Turns out he just wanted to be friends with this kid that didn’t like me. You know how that goes.
It’s not the only time something like that has happened. It’s really bad with girls. Girls usually take a while to make up, and they get harsh. But there are times like that, right? It could be worse…or maybe a loved one died or a best/only friend moves away, a pet dies. Maybe you find out a you have a disease. You find out you can never walk again, never do certain things, you’ll never be the same as you used to, physically or mentally. A drunk driver hits your car on the way home, smashes your leg! Something horrible happens and you just can’t stop thinking, “why me God, why would you let this happen to me? Do you even have the power to stop this from happening, ARE YOU EVEN REAL?”
An experience like that is hard. Hard to recover from. It’ll affect you for the rest of your life. Every time you look back on this event you’ll only think of what you were thinking: “God, why me, are you even real?” There’s a passage about Peter found in Matthew 14: 22-33:
Jesus just finished up feeding the 5000 or so…Jesus made His disciples get into the boat and go before Him to the other side, while He sent the multitudes away. And when He had sent the multitudes away, He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray. Now when evening came, He was alone there. But the boat was now in the middle of the sea, tossed by the waves, for the wind was contrary. Now in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went to them, walking on the seas. And when the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, “It is a ghost!” And they cried out in fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid.” And Peter answered Him and said, “Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.” So He said, “Come.” And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus. But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, “Lord, save me!” And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, “ye of little faith, why did you doubt?” And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. Then those who were in the boat came and worshiped Him, saying, “Truly You are the Son of God.”
You know, you could be Peter. You could have just spent a wonderful weekend with a loved one, or fighting with them, and they are taken from you just days later. You could be trying to do what God told you to do, by reaching out to the kid that sits alone at lunch, or a new kid, and you find out they started spreading rumors about you that could ruin your reputation horribly. You might be doing something God told you to do and something bad happens; you slip, and start to sink in the water. In the middle of and ocean, with nothing to grab onto. If you continue to doubt, you will drown. The only person that can save you is God. You might be able to survive a little longer with something that makes you feel good. Drugs, alcohol, and addiction. But that will only keep you alive temporarily. You will still sink. Without God, you will not survive. You need to call out to him, “Lord, save me!” and grab his hand. There’s a song that I’ve heard, Voices by House of Heroes. While the band is still playing, he stops and gives a speech…”your greatest sin, is not the abortion that you’ve asked forgiveness for, or the adultery, or whatever it is that you did in your life, in a past that you’re ashamed of, that keeps hounding you… your greatest sin is not that, your greatest sin in not believing God’s word when god says you’re forgiven! Your greatest sin is unbelief. You want to repent of something, friend? Stop repenting of sins you’ve already repented of, and repent of your unbelief.”
He’s almost saying the same thing. He’s saying don’t doubt that you’ve been forgiven when you ask for forgiveness, and repent. You have to call out for God, grasp his hand, and repent, “I’m sorry Lord, for not believing in You. For doubting you.” Are you gunna sink, or swim?
Jonathan Gray